A Good Reminder

A few weeks ago one of my favorite dance teachers announced he was leaving. The first day I started in his class I was intimidated and unconfident, but it evolved into the class I looked forward to every week. In a nutshell, he kept my dream alive and didn’t even know it.  On his last day I decided to write him a note to tell him about how his class kept me going on days I almost gave up. To my surprise he contacted me and said these words, Rebecca, your gorgeous, talented little thing…we don’t tend to choose dance, it chooses us!” It’s funny because those exact words were said to my back in December and are the words that gave me to courage to chase after my dream. I forgot them. 

It’s been about six months since I started chasing after my dream of dancing professionally and it has been a journey of ups and downs. One of the biggest downs has been the fact that I lost hold of the reason why I started in the first place. Dance is a calling and I feel as though I have been called to dance. I whine all the time about how I feel inadequate to be in this industry, but instead I should feel lucky that I have the honor to have been chosen to dance. As the next six months rolls outs I realized that I needed to make some changes if I want to make this journey as successful as possible. 

1) I rejoined the dance ministry team at my church. Dancing at church is where my dream of dancing professionally was born. Putting that aside, God is the one who has given me this talent and I want to be able to give it back to Him and express to people the overflow of joy dance gives me in order to impact their lives. Dance as a ministry has to go back to being my number one priority. 

2) It has come to a point where the dance classes I am taking are not benefitting as much as I need them to. I have decided to cut down the number of classes I take a week and instead take the time and money to take more advanced classes. Right now I only travel into the city once per week, but that will be changing to 2-3 times a week. This also allows me to attend dance ministry. 

3) I am increasing my cardio and strength training workouts and started monitoring my calories. 

4) I am starting to prepare for dance competitions that are happening in August and October. I will also be going to the Australian Dance Festival in September where representatives from full time dance programs will be in attendance. 

5) And on a side note! I started writing my novel 🙂

I was watching a dance documentary on Netflix and the same words were spoken “Dance chooses us”. The more hear this phrase the more I believe that it is true. I have chosen to accept the fact that I did not choose dance, but instead I chose to follow the path that was set out for me. As long as I remember that I have been chosen to dance, in whatever capacity it turns out to be, I will keep going. 

Update!

I haven’t had much to write about, hence why I haven’t written. I suppose I’ve found a routine that I’ve slipped into, and for the first time I feel like I am not in this alone. One of the major reasons is that I’ve finally started private lessons. My teacher is everything I’ve wanted in a mentor. One of the things she has me do is keep a dance journal where I keep track of all the things I work on at home. It’s great not only because it keeps my accountable, but because it gives me direction. It’s also great to have one-on-one attention when it comes to fixing my technique and how to improve it. In addition, I’ve found a class solely on kick, turns, and all that stuff. It’s good to have one class where I can just work on that and it’s fun. 

I have mixed feelings about my dancing right now. On one hand I’m finally noticing improvement in my dancing. I am able to dance with more ease and I’m starting to break some of my bad habits. I see my increased flexibility while I’m dancing and I’ve noticed that I am stronger. At the same time I still have feelings of inadequacy as I feel like my dream of dancing professionally is impossible. I try not to look at youtube videos or research dance companies that often because I know it leads to negative feelings, but every once in a while I do. It’s discouraging to see how basically every single one of those dancers have a degree in dance and have extensively studied dance at reputable schools. I watch dancers on youtube and they’re younger, stronger, more flexible, and more technically advanced than I am. I’ve been working so hard, but I just don’t know if it is possible for me to ever reach a level that I would even be considered. There are so many people who are vying for their dream to come true and I’m at the bottom, no matter how hard I work. It’s disheartening. Regardless, I’ll keep trying for a little while…